Hi Everyone,

I was wondering if I could get any feedback on my personal statement, for some background I am one year post-grad looking to go into the law field. I currently write contracts for events and non-profits. I just wanted to get another set of eyes on this and see how it reads. Thanks!!! Specifically looking for feedback on the ending I feel like it doesn't have that wow factor.

My grandfather never wore shorts. He scarcely spoke about his childhood in the Delta, but all the stories returned to the same scene. Beetles and bees hummed a haunting symphony. White clouds of cotton met his hips, while branches scraped his legs like tiny razors branding the circumstances of the south on his skin. Combating the racial politics of the Jim Crow South and the lack of access to resources, such as education, he enlisted in the army to garner better opportunities.

His story imprinted itself on me, echoing the experiences of many African Americans from the South, but his story was the first I learned. These stories pushed me to pursue an undergraduate education in public relations.

Through my education, I learned that rhetoric underpins everything. The ability to read, write, and interpret information can empower communities or be weaponized against them. Growing up in Detroit and briefly attending Detroit Public Schools, I witnessed how students, largely from minority backgrounds, can be disadvantaged by systems they have little power to control. I developed a unique perspective on access to education after transferring to an elementary school in a more affluent area. It was the first time I attended a school with a gymnasium, and it was the first time my learning wasn’t hindered by financial restraints.

During my freshman year of college, I had the opportunity to write a research paper on the Detroit Public School-to-prison pipeline. I gained insight into the structural injustice in education. The paper taught me how the disciplinary systems in schools differ. Black and brown students are punished with extreme force and brutality compared to other students in the same district. One interview I conducted with [REDACTED], a social scientist and professor at [REDACTED], introduced me to the word “adultification”. A term I had never heard before, but it sent a fire through me. I realized how much I love asking questions and learning facts through conversation. One word connected all my research. It felt like finding a puzzle piece you didn’t know was missing. This research and fire further pushed me towards an education in public relations, journalism, and communications.

Between these three disciplines, I learned how to use my voice as a conduit for those who could not. After working with non-profits around Detroit, such as the Detroit Jazz Festival—helping keep their educational programs free and crafting campaigns to encourage donations to the organization—I found myself wanting to do more to advocate for communities.

In search of a deeper purpose and intellectual challenge, I enrolled in the elective Law and Harm. Analyzing cases and debating ethical dilemmas engaged my writing and advocacy skills in new ways. The course taught me that law is not merely about rules, but about advocating for fairness, interpreting nuance, and shaping society's stories. I no longer just want to write stories; I want to set the background. Pivoting to a career in law is necessary to create a foundation for amplifying voices and shaping policies that impact real lives.

 My grandfather paved the way for my freedoms, even simple ones like wearing shorts. Pursuing a law school education honors his  legacy and will help  me become a stronger advocate. I am eager to contribute my perspective, shaped by resilience and advocacy, while learning from others committed to justice.