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I finished my personal statement....and I hate it....now what?

LSATcantwinLSATcantwin Alum Member Sage
edited November 2017 in Law School Admissions 13286 karma

I just finished writing my personal statement. While it is about an event that changed my life, and the way I see hard situations, I feel like I was not able to communicate that through the story. There are too many details that I feel need to be included, which leaves me with no room for "what I learned" type stuff.

Is anyone either willing to read my PS and help me incorporate that stuff, or have suggestions on how to give details of the event while saying I learned XYZ?

Basically I want to convey the messages of;

  • I've learned that you shouldn't judge people by their actions alone

  • I learned to deal with stressful situations in constructive ways

  • I learned the value of working with other people and relying on others

Edit: It is also a very rough draft still and a bit too long in its current state.

Comments

  • Leah M BLeah M B Alum Member
    8392 karma

    I'd be down to read it! If you're open to it, I'm in a similar place of having a verrrrry rough draft and I'd love another set of eyes on mine too. Swap?

  • LSATcantwinLSATcantwin Alum Member Sage
    13286 karma

    @"Leah M B" said:
    I'd be down to read it! If you're open to it, I'm in a similar place of having a verrrrry rough draft and I'd love another set of eyes on mine too. Swap?

    Just sent you a PM!

  • Nick GonzalezNick Gonzalez Alum Member
    19 karma

    Hello, Is anyone still swapping Personal Statements?

  • harperh1harperh1 Legacy Member
    8 karma

    I am in the exact same situation. I've written two different personal statements and I hate them both. One I think is raw and real and tells them more about me personally, but the people that I've had read it weren't getting what I wanted them to get out of it (mind you, they have no idea what a personal statement is supposed to be). The other one explains my journey of deciding on law, but I feel like it's stiff and I have no connection to it. I'd be open to reading yours if you'd be down to read mine. I think I need someone to read it who understands what a personal statement is.

  • dazedandconfuseddazedandconfused Legacy Member
    92 karma

    Hey @LSATcantwin! I am unsure if I have the ethos and credentials law school wise to help you. However, I am a college professor who has been teaching graduate writing and rhetoric for over five years, so if I could be of any services, please feel free to get in contact with me (I just left a women's college, and I was the head of their writing department). I am not sure how private messaging works on here, but if you do, feel free to DM/PM me.

  • LSATcantwinLSATcantwin Alum Member Sage
    13286 karma

    @dazedandconfused said:
    Hey @LSATcantwin! I am unsure if I have the ethos and credentials law school wise to help you. However, I am a college professor who has been teaching graduate writing and rhetoric for over five years, so if I could be of any services, please feel free to get in contact with me (I just left a women's college, and I was the head of their writing department). I am not sure how private messaging works on here, but if you do, feel free to DM/PM me.

    Hey! this sounds amazing. Sorry, I've been sort of MIA since the Dec test haha. Once I get back into the swing of my applications I'll send it your way!

  • TabbyG123TabbyG123 Legacy Member
    711 karma

    Sounds like you're trying to figure out how to tease out the lessons and impact that this experience had on you. Because ultimately, while describing an experience you had is important, the school wants to know what you learned from it and how it affected you, right?

    In my search, I found this awesome bunch of resources, and in particular, this exercise that helps you do exactly that. This Google Doc has an exercise that helps you outline your essay in a way that frames a challenge/experience in a way that clearly shows what you did about it and what you learned from it. It's called "The Feelings and Needs Exercise" and it's on page 5. There's also this video that goes along with it. Give it a try! Hope it's useful!

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/15Rl0fs-hik5bMXecnotIjT0yESAg-ArIP5TDDEzoGRA/edit

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