Hey fellow 7sagers,
This is my first post and it may be long (and more of a cathartic blog-like post), but I wanted to throw this out there for anyone who is also having similar feelings. I am signed up for the June LSAT (aka tomorrow) and am NOT taking it.
You may be thinking, "Oh this is just stress/anxiety." I'm sure that has some part to play, but I'd like to believe my reasoning is more logical than that.
I began the 7sage prep course back in January. When I say began, I mean more like I signed up. I thought, "I have a little less than 6 months. That should be enough time." I started off well, keeping on my schedule, but then LSAT prep took a back seat to all my other activities. As a full time student and part time worker who also attempted to have a social life, it didn't seem like there were enough hours in the day to also make time for LSAT prep. Then May hit. I had not yet finished the prep course nor had I taken any PTs. I thought, "I'm a smart person, I can just dedicate this month to the LSAT and I will be golden." I did spend tremendous amounts of time studying (like 8 hours a day, 6 days a week), but little did I know that wasn't good enough. It's true, you cannot cram for the LSAT. As it got closer and closer to the test date, I felt less and less sure about my ability. All of these posts that JY or any of the other 7sagers posted about the June LSAT would say things like, "You've done your prep tests, you know what you're likely to score. Don't worry so much." The thing is, I've only taken 2 PTs. My first one I got a 154 (158 with BR) and my second test I got a 158 (165 with BR). What a range! Who knows what I'll score on the actual test. My main issue is timing. The LG section kills me. Without blind review I was getting -11, but with BR I was getting -2. From this I learned a few things. My foundations were there, but I need to have practiced more to get the timing down. To put it simply, I am not ready. I've known this for some time and was hoping that by some miracle come today I would feel ready; that maybe in my last week of studying something would finally click. It hasn't. I know that if I were to take the LSAT tomorrow, I would not be performing at my best.
With this feeling, I looked to my parents for validation of my decision not to take the LSAT. My mom said, "What harm can it do? If you don't do well, just take it again. Law schools will see an improvement. You've spent so much time on this. You also can't get a refund. Why don't you just take it and see how it goes?" She makes a good argument and almost swayed me. But the thing of the matter is I don't want to take a test that I don't feel confident about, that I am not ready for. This is not anxiety getting the better of me. This is not a fear of that I won't do well (well maybe just a little) This is me taking an honest look in the mirror and knowing I can do better. I know where my strengths and weaknesses lie. I know what it takes to truly study for the LSAT. Maybe I'll never feel fully ready for the LSAT, but I do know that with more preparation I can go into the October's LSAT knowing I'm going to do the best I can do.
Comments
That being said, I'm in a situation where I can start this fall vs starting in 2016 so it's a unique situation and I fully encourage taking the test when you feel you can achieve the score you want/need.
Seriously. This post deserves a slow clap from Team 7sage.
I want to commend you for your mindset: this process is not about getting X score. This is about reaching a place of confidence that you've done your best and have left no (reasonable) stone unturned.
Will any of us ever be magically sure we're 100% ready? Will @"J.Y. Ping" ever ride down with a great clap of thunder on the back of a dragon dressed like a Targaryen to announce that you are finally ready, Valar Morghulis?
Nah.
Though I am considering photoshopping JY's face onto some ASoIaF fan art to achieve the effect.