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1 Like
Personal statement -- better to talk about a hobby or emotional childhood trauma
_oshun1_
Alum Member
Please let me know if any of these ideas I mention stand out to you and you think I should expand upon in it my PS. This is a lot to read but if ya'll are sick of studying, this'll give you something to do.
Topic 1: I did attend David's PS session and he did OK my topic idea -- we immigrated to the US when I was a kid, my mother hated it, when I was 5-12 years old she would randomly pack her bags and leave and I never knew if she was coming back. This made me a strong empathetic person dedicated to finding stability in my life...this leads me to working at a law firm and how I use my empathy and dedication at work. *insert anecdote about work here*
I did write a short paragraph about the childhood part of this first topic, I can throw it in here if anyone wants to read it.
My issue with this topic is:
1. It's difficult to talk about my mother's unstable behavior without seeming really coldhearted. I don't have enough room to write about how traumatizing this event was as a child, though I love my mother and she is truly a good person, etc. I pretty much just say *this happened* and now I'm a better person from it.
2. I'm taking a break from the firm right now to study and I won't be able to go back to look through case files to recall something really specific to write about, and even if I did I don't think it would help much.
One work story I could write about is a girl suing her ex girlfriend for domestic violence. I relate to this bc I'm gay. I had to not allow my emotions to overwhelm me while working on the case and going through exhibits evidencing the violence, etc. I can throw in that I've been told many times that I wouldn't get anywhere in life bc of my sexuality and here I am working at a law firm to protect a fellow gay person.
The extent of my work on that case was just that -- arranging exhibits. As a legal assistant my work was almost entirely on the administrative side. I really don't have much more to say about my work other than that so it's making me feel I shouldn't write about this topic.
3. I feel like the paper is just me trying to shove down everyone's throat any possible diversity I might have. I mention immigration, emotionally unstable parent/childhood trauma, sexuality. It weirdly feels impersonal bc I'm a lot more than just these sort of...hot button topics. Maybe this would be better for a diversity essay?
Topic 2: my dedication to surfing relates to my dedication to work. I've been surfing since I was 10 years old. No one in my family surfs, I'm self-taught, almost always surf alone. I could talk about some adversity I've had to overcome as a woman trying to gain respect and learn to be aggressive in an environment of 99.99% men, but I've also matured enough to realize that I can learn from these men and take their advice without losing my self-respect.
I went from being the girl that other surfers were yelling at for getting in their way and not knowing what I was doing to being the girl that other surfers stand up for when they see someone get in my way/someone disrespect me.
From there I can speak more broadly about my job and go into detail about how my first day as an unpaid intern I spent almost the entire day retyping some Discovery responses, when I was finished I mentioned to one of the attorneys that that was "a lot of typing and my hands hurt". Now I'm always praised at work for how quickly I get things done and I can finish retyping pages of Discovery within a few hours. That first day I stayed until 10pm helping an attorney make thousands of copies and organize exhibits. A few months later I was hired as a paid receptionist. When I transferred out of community college a year later, I was given a part time position as an assistant. They pretty much made a new position for me.
Maybe I can throw in that one of our attorneys who I really looked up to passed away last year. I drove home after work and threw my surfboard in my car and went surfing that night and kept surfing every day after work bc he was always telling me how great it was that I surfed and I wanted to do something to make him proud. He mentioned that he can tell that I am a dedicated surfer because of the way I dedicate myself to work and won't go home until I'm finished with the task at hand.
Maybe I could mention some close calls where I almost drowned surfing and how that has taught me to learn to overcome obstacles.
I know that's a lot of random ideas thrown together, I just tried to think of any possible thing I could to relate surfing + work so I can hone in on a couple ideas and go from there.
Also obviously I'm being pretty casual here and won't phrase it exactly the same way in my PS.
My issue with the second topic - is it too generic and impersonal?
-If I do this 2nd topic, I could have one of the attorneys write an LOR to back this up, at least for the schools which accept 3 LORs. The ones that only accept 2 LORs I think it's safer to stick with LORs only from professors.
Any advice is appreciated and thank you if you actually read through all of this!
Topic 1: I did attend David's PS session and he did OK my topic idea -- we immigrated to the US when I was a kid, my mother hated it, when I was 5-12 years old she would randomly pack her bags and leave and I never knew if she was coming back. This made me a strong empathetic person dedicated to finding stability in my life...this leads me to working at a law firm and how I use my empathy and dedication at work. *insert anecdote about work here*
I did write a short paragraph about the childhood part of this first topic, I can throw it in here if anyone wants to read it.
My issue with this topic is:
1. It's difficult to talk about my mother's unstable behavior without seeming really coldhearted. I don't have enough room to write about how traumatizing this event was as a child, though I love my mother and she is truly a good person, etc. I pretty much just say *this happened* and now I'm a better person from it.
2. I'm taking a break from the firm right now to study and I won't be able to go back to look through case files to recall something really specific to write about, and even if I did I don't think it would help much.
One work story I could write about is a girl suing her ex girlfriend for domestic violence. I relate to this bc I'm gay. I had to not allow my emotions to overwhelm me while working on the case and going through exhibits evidencing the violence, etc. I can throw in that I've been told many times that I wouldn't get anywhere in life bc of my sexuality and here I am working at a law firm to protect a fellow gay person.
The extent of my work on that case was just that -- arranging exhibits. As a legal assistant my work was almost entirely on the administrative side. I really don't have much more to say about my work other than that so it's making me feel I shouldn't write about this topic.
3. I feel like the paper is just me trying to shove down everyone's throat any possible diversity I might have. I mention immigration, emotionally unstable parent/childhood trauma, sexuality. It weirdly feels impersonal bc I'm a lot more than just these sort of...hot button topics. Maybe this would be better for a diversity essay?
Topic 2: my dedication to surfing relates to my dedication to work. I've been surfing since I was 10 years old. No one in my family surfs, I'm self-taught, almost always surf alone. I could talk about some adversity I've had to overcome as a woman trying to gain respect and learn to be aggressive in an environment of 99.99% men, but I've also matured enough to realize that I can learn from these men and take their advice without losing my self-respect.
I went from being the girl that other surfers were yelling at for getting in their way and not knowing what I was doing to being the girl that other surfers stand up for when they see someone get in my way/someone disrespect me.
From there I can speak more broadly about my job and go into detail about how my first day as an unpaid intern I spent almost the entire day retyping some Discovery responses, when I was finished I mentioned to one of the attorneys that that was "a lot of typing and my hands hurt". Now I'm always praised at work for how quickly I get things done and I can finish retyping pages of Discovery within a few hours. That first day I stayed until 10pm helping an attorney make thousands of copies and organize exhibits. A few months later I was hired as a paid receptionist. When I transferred out of community college a year later, I was given a part time position as an assistant. They pretty much made a new position for me.
Maybe I can throw in that one of our attorneys who I really looked up to passed away last year. I drove home after work and threw my surfboard in my car and went surfing that night and kept surfing every day after work bc he was always telling me how great it was that I surfed and I wanted to do something to make him proud. He mentioned that he can tell that I am a dedicated surfer because of the way I dedicate myself to work and won't go home until I'm finished with the task at hand.
Maybe I could mention some close calls where I almost drowned surfing and how that has taught me to learn to overcome obstacles.
I know that's a lot of random ideas thrown together, I just tried to think of any possible thing I could to relate surfing + work so I can hone in on a couple ideas and go from there.
Also obviously I'm being pretty casual here and won't phrase it exactly the same way in my PS.
My issue with the second topic - is it too generic and impersonal?
-If I do this 2nd topic, I could have one of the attorneys write an LOR to back this up, at least for the schools which accept 3 LORs. The ones that only accept 2 LORs I think it's safer to stick with LORs only from professors.
Any advice is appreciated and thank you if you actually read through all of this!
Comments
The first one just seems like it has a TON of content in it; I'm not saying it couldn't/wouldn't work just that it seems much harder to write a concise narrative that uses all of those components in a meaningful way. You could always use #2 as a PS and #1 to write a meaningful Diversity Statement.
Good luck!