Thanks for your service, @coolsamuel88. I'm a Marine ... with 25+ years of active service (enlisted and commissioned) and a ... is while acknowledging my military service, I make a point to ...
Speaking as someone who used the 7Sage Admissions service for something similar to this via a la carte pricing, I cannot recommend this enough. I was very pleased with the feedback received.
I used the service twice, once for my personal statement and once for a scholarship essay. Very pleased with the feedback and would recommend it, assuming your finances allow it.
Someone who used this service a few days ago sent me this email: "I would have never thought that a one hour phone call could be worth $500. It absolutely was. Selene is GREAT. Thank you both so much."
It seems like you have a good relationship with this professor so I think it's a great idea to ask him. You could also do the 7sage admissions consulting edit once. I worked with them and it's an amazing service.