Hey everyone. I'd greatly appreciate it if I could get your advice on my situation regarding whether it's worth seeking accommodations.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety disorder in the summer of 2015, and was put on anti-depressants; and eventually beta blockers and lorazepam (a benzo). The first time I studied for the LSAT was from Jan-May 2016 and used the LSAT trainer, with hopes of writing the exam in June. My highest PT was 156, and so I postponed the exam. I then studied from June to December, and used 7Sage. I sought a fresh start, while also focusing on my weaknesses. I just couldn't seem to break the 150's barrier. I eventually wrote the LSAT in June, and this time I tried Kaplan (which I learnt was a big mistake) from Feb to May because i felt an in-person class with homework would keep me further on my toes. However, i cancelled because i knew i bombed it. I won't blame my performance entirely on my diagnosed mental disability, but it definitely does not help. I was determined to get into the 160's, and used Powerscore from July to August, and registered for the September exam. I cancelled, because i just could not break into the 160's. At the time, I put down my failure to get a high score on the fact that i was on medication. I know that it's supposed to level the playing field, but I was having trouble connecting logical chains, and I eventually learnt that SSRI's and other anti-depressants can in fact impair or inhibit your ability to perform at your best cognitively. My doctor suggested that i taper off the medication. I did, and studied without them. Here's where it gets tricky: without the medication, i think more clearly if even just a bit, but my depressive and anxious symptoms increase a bit as well. It's a cycle. I get depressed because I can't get the score I want, and if I take anti-depressants to combat those feelings, my brain feels fuzzy and I feel mentally jaded, lethargic and foggy. The best analogy I can give is to imagine driving in your car on a clear night with the lights on full beam, but you only can only see fog everywhere. That's how I felt. I wasn't even overly stressed, maybe the same as any other student studying for the LSAT. My brain just felt heavy and my mental clarity seemed to be fading every time I studied. Perhaps other people with depression/anxiety can relate?

I tried different study methods, different courses/prep courses, and for two years I did meditation, yoga, healthy eating. and exercising. Unfortunately nothing helped, and I eventually wrote the LSAT in December while using Powerscore. During the exam, I experienced the same emotions i did while writing PT's and the September exam: trouble concentrating and retaining information, reading sentences various times to understand it, misreading words, reading words but not actually grasping what they mean. I expected the worst, and unsurprisingly, I got a 153. I feel like I've exhausted all my options now, and that it would be pointless to take another prep course or keep studying. No matter how many hours I put in, how many different methods I try, how many times I change my lifestyle/habits, nothing works. I didn't seek accommodations before because I didn't think I needed them or that anything was wrong with me. I just kept thinking that I wasn't trying my best or focusing enough. However, I learnt that mental illness and its treatments can definitely have an impact on the way you think, react to and grasp information. Another analogy I can give is to imagine a big square with a small circle placed in the center. The circle is my brain power when I'm studying/taking PT's, and the surrounding area is the fog/haziness I experience.

Now, do you think its worth seeking accommodations? I was only diagnosed in my 3rd year of university, so I don't have any prior history or proof of receiving previous accommodations. I only have notes from my psychiatrist and family doctor. I majored in History, and so I didn't really need accommodations during exams, because I was mostly assessed on essays and group work. Also, the fact that I got 153 definitely does not help. Do you guys think its worth paying $1800 for an upcoming psychoeducational assessment and seeking accommodations, or does the fact that I scored just a bit above average hinder my chances now?

My apologies for such a long read, but I do not know who else to ask.