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Need Non-LSAT advice!- Living Situation

TimeIsMoneyTimeIsMoney Member
edited March 2021 in Off-topic 495 karma

So I have decided to go to a school that is just 20 minutes from my hometown. I made this decision apart from location mainly because i loved it on my visit and got a great scholarship. Plus it has a great network. I have always gotten along with my parents and have young siblings who are still in school and live at home. So here's my dilemma...I think the obvious choice is to live at home and commute. I would have my laundry done, groceries, etc. Plus i would save roughly $35,000 in rent and living expenses. Plus the time having to do laundry, figure out food, cook, clean, etc. Cons: Social life is not ideal, worried about environment because i don't know what to expect this fall. I think my family would give me privacy but i also think they would have unrealistic expectations about me being home. Currently i help out a lot at home and work for my dad, and obviosuly that can't be the case when i start law school. I'm hoping that treating it like a 9-5 would be the best case and just spend my day in class and in the library then come home. What do you guys think? Can i get most of my work done at school and not worry so much about what home will be like? Will living at home hurt or help more? Anything helps!

Comments

  • TheMommaBearTheMommaBear Member
    348 karma

    I think even if your parents/siblings occasionally interrupted you, you’d still come out net positive for time because of all the other things that would be taken care of.

  • SufficientConditionSufficientCondition Alum Member
    311 karma

    @TimeIsMoney said:
    So I have decided to go to a school that is just 20 minutes from my hometown. I made this decision apart from location mainly because i loved it on my visit and got a great scholarship. Plus it has a great network. I have always gotten along with my parents and have young siblings who are still in school and live at home. So here's my dilemma...I think the obvious choice is to live at home and commute. I would have my laundry done, groceries, etc. Plus i would save roughly $35,000 in rent and living expenses. Plus the time having to do laundry, figure out food, cook, clean, etc. Cons: Social life is not ideal, worried about environment because i don't know what to expect this fall. I think my family would give me privacy but i also think they would have unrealistic expectations about me being home. Currently i help out a lot at home and work for my dad, and obviosuly that can't be the case when i start law school. I'm hoping that treating it like a 9-5 would be the best case and just spend my day in class and in the library then come home. What do you guys think? Can i get most of my work done at school and not worry so much about what home will be like? Will living at home hurt or help more? Anything helps!

    To me, the answer would depend on the library. Can you basically just sleep at home? That's one thing. The X factor is how well your parents can transition to supporting your new role in the family (essentially, a ghost for 2-3 years). Not knowing anything about your relationships, the older you are, the better your chances.

  • TimeIsMoneyTimeIsMoney Member
    495 karma

    @SufficientCondition said:

    @TimeIsMoney said:
    So I have decided to go to a school that is just 20 minutes from my hometown. I made this decision apart from location mainly because i loved it on my visit and got a great scholarship. Plus it has a great network. I have always gotten along with my parents and have young siblings who are still in school and live at home. So here's my dilemma...I think the obvious choice is to live at home and commute. I would have my laundry done, groceries, etc. Plus i would save roughly $35,000 in rent and living expenses. Plus the time having to do laundry, figure out food, cook, clean, etc. Cons: Social life is not ideal, worried about environment because i don't know what to expect this fall. I think my family would give me privacy but i also think they would have unrealistic expectations about me being home. Currently i help out a lot at home and work for my dad, and obviosuly that can't be the case when i start law school. I'm hoping that treating it like a 9-5 would be the best case and just spend my day in class and in the library then come home. What do you guys think? Can i get most of my work done at school and not worry so much about what home will be like? Will living at home hurt or help more? Anything helps!

    To me, the answer would depend on the library. Can you basically just sleep at home? That's one thing. The X factor is how well your parents can transition to supporting your new role in the family (essentially, a ghost for 2-3 years). Not knowing anything about your relationships, the older you are, the better your chances.

    The school i am going to has a great library with tons of study space. To answer your question about sleeping at home, yes i can sleep at home but i also would have the privacy i need to study if need be. I have a great relationship with my parents and siblings plus my mom would help me do laundry and always have meals for me. i think not worrying about having to deal with things like that would help me a lot. But if you are a currenty/former student any advice would be great/ I think my family could respect my space and understand that i will need it. I think it will be a big change for all of us.

  • love2learnlove2learn Free Trial Member
    edited March 2021 252 karma

    I think having the home network that you mention (especially staying nourished!) is well worth the commute/other issues. and it's just for 3 years. I think your parents will be helpful with your situation when they see your 1L workload. just having someone around to 'cook' for you is an amenity. I'm planning to do something similar (except it will be just me and my mom, we've been a bit of a team since her divorce and we are excited to start over somewhere new, maybe, together), because i think the pros so greatly outweigh the chance of having to study at home in a less-than-ideal sound environment - - or in an environment that doesn't understand the law school workload. You'll have a bit of a personal assistant support structure - - and the time you'll save NOT having to shop, cook, clean, etc will be PRICELESS to going into your studies. you might not have time for a social life anyways! but even that will work itself out if you do.

    Another consideration is that even if you move out on your own, there's no guarantee that you'll have a quiet environment. I'm in an apartment right now and the tenants below us are ridiculously, shake the floor, loud. it has been impossible to preptest here and I can't wait to MOVE. the tenants before were chain smokers (in a nonsmoking building) and it was horrible. the management doesn't care or even respond to complaints. So you could end up with nightmare living situation even on your own.

  • carolinelsatcarolinelsat Member
    103 karma

    As someone who had to move back home and deals with working from home (teaching) with my parents and siblings being home almost 24/7, I think you can definitely make it work. It helped me a lot to set clear boundaries with my family and when those boundaries were crossed, make sure I addressed it ASAP to make sure it did not happen again. It was an adjustment to ensure they gave me full privacy and also to make them understand my working hours went farther than the hours of the actual job. It was helpful for me to also let them know the same expectations from when I lived at home pre-college could not still stand (example, eating dinner together every night) because I simply did not have time for an hour long dinner/was not always free from work/meetings at the time of our typical dinner. I think ensuring those things are known in advance makes it easier to re-explain/re-tell family members when conflict arises. Good luck, I'm sure you will make the right decision for you!

  • TimeIsMoneyTimeIsMoney Member
    495 karma

    @love2learn said:
    I think having the home network that you mention (especially staying nourished!) is well worth the commute/other issues. and it's just for 3 years. I think your parents will be helpful with your situation when they see your 1L workload. just having someone around to 'cook' for you is an amenity. I'm planning to do something similar (except it will be just me and my mom, we've been a bit of a team since her divorce and we are excited to start over somewhere new, maybe, together), because i think the pros so greatly outweigh the chance of having to study at home in a less-than-ideal sound environment - - or in an environment that doesn't understand the law school workload. You'll have a bit of a personal assistant support structure - - and the time you'll save NOT having to shop, cook, clean, etc will be PRICELESS to going into your studies. you might not have time for a social life anyways! but even that will work itself out if you do.

    Another consideration is that even if you move out on your own, there's no guarantee that you'll have a quiet environment. I'm in an apartment right now and the tenants below us are ridiculously, shake the floor, loud. it has been impossible to preptest here and I can't wait to MOVE. the tenants before were chain smokers (in a nonsmoking building) and it was horrible. the management doesn't care or even respond to complaints. So you could end up with nightmare living situation even on your own.

    That is some great insight. I agree with everything you said!! It is just crazy because a few people are so insistent that i need to be on my own...I don't really understand why. I think it is just throwing money down the toilet. If i really need to escape, the library is 25 minutes from my house. I would have no problem commuting when i needed to for events and other non-class things. Plus if i spend the whole day there, i think i can manage my load pretty well.

  • TimeIsMoneyTimeIsMoney Member
    495 karma

    @carolinelsat said:
    As someone who had to move back home and deals with working from home (teaching) with my parents and siblings being home almost 24/7, I think you can definitely make it work. It helped me a lot to set clear boundaries with my family and when those boundaries were crossed, make sure I addressed it ASAP to make sure it did not happen again. It was an adjustment to ensure they gave me full privacy and also to make them understand my working hours went farther than the hours of the actual job. It was helpful for me to also let them know the same expectations from when I lived at home pre-college could not still stand (example, eating dinner together every night) because I simply did not have time for an hour long dinner/was not always free from work/meetings at the time of our typical dinner. I think ensuring those things are known in advance makes it easier to re-explain/re-tell family members when conflict arises. Good luck, I'm sure you will make the right decision for you!

    That makes a lot of sense. Actually, my sister started her first year of teaching and has been virtual all year. I have been pretty much virtual for school as well. Her at home with my parents and also 10 year old younger twin siblings is a lot but we all manage it well. I think it will be ok especially if i'm gone most of the day.

  • kkole444kkole444 Alum Member
    edited March 2021 1687 karma

    Hello I am in the same situation. I help my father out a lot with his business and live at home with another sibling that is in college (going to med school, bit of a friendly rivalry). The cooking and laundry and 35K saved a year is probably first years salary or more. I made it clear to my parent that I need space and time to complete my studies(when I was in grad school). Also my parents respect that I am an adult and give me lots of freedom within the house. What I mean is when I would give them an advance like I'm going to be home at 2am and leave at 5am(Masters in Economics has you do that for finals week) they would understand and it would not come as a surprise. The only time I would have a problem is when I would not respect and understand that it is my parents house and not my apartment. I would make them aware of my schedule and give them a heads up on what I would be coming home or not coming home ect. Plus I would help with chores when I had time and my father with his business (amazing how some sweat breaking labor can clear the mind). I liked to think of the arrangement as a mutually beneficial. My parents get to see me more and get some help around the house and I get food, laundry, quite sleeping place and save 40-60k in housing plus expenses. Me living at home just required a little more planning and communicating on my part but for 60K I can do a lot of planning and communicating for that. Yes I got all the work done I needed at the library and I spent more time at the library and school than at my parents house. I can be done and I think it would be worth it to save that type of money, plus if you ever forgot anything important I'm sure someone in the house would run it to you ( I forgot a tie for a important interview UGH). Biggest thing for me was communication and that solved 99% of everything. I did not know what grad school was going to expect from me, I had an idea, but was not certain and I let my parents know that 'this is what I expect it to be like but I am not certain because I obviously have not experienced it yet. I think it'd be an overall positive, but if it requires you find an apartment in the spring then so be it.

  • TimeIsMoneyTimeIsMoney Member
    495 karma

    @kkole444 said:
    Hello I am in the same situation. I help my father out a lot with his business and live at home with another sibling that is in college (going to med school, bit of a friendly rivalry). The cooking and laundry and 35K saved a year is probably first years salary or more. I made it clear to my parent that I need space and time to complete my studies(when I was in grad school). Also my parents respect that I am an adult and give me lots of freedom within the house. What I mean is when I would give them an advance like I'm going to be home at 2am and leave at 5am(Masters in Economics has you do that for finals week) they would understand and it would not come as a surprise. The only time I would have a problem is when I would not respect and understand that it is my parents house and not my apartment. I would make them aware of my schedule and give them a heads up on what I would be coming home or not coming home ect. Plus I would help with chores when I had time and my father with his business (amazing how some sweat breaking labor can clear the mind). I liked to think of the arrangement as a mutually beneficial. My parents get to see me more and get some help around the house and I get food, laundry, quite sleeping place and save 40-60k in housing plus expenses. Me living at home just required a little more planning and communicating on my part but for 60K I can do a lot of planning and communicating for that. Yes I got all the work done I needed at the library and I spent more time at the library and school than at my parents house. I can be done and I think it would be worth it to save that type of money, plus if you ever forgot anything important I'm sure someone in the house would run it to you ( I forgot a tie for a important interview UGH). Biggest thing for me was communication and that solved 99% of everything. I did not know what grad school was going to expect from me, I had an idea, but was not certain and I let my parents know that 'this is what I expect it to be like but I am not certain because I obviously have not experienced it yet. I think it'd be an overall positive, but if it requires you find an apartment in the spring then so be it.

    Thanks for that perspective, that is much of my mindset. I think the positives far outweigh the negatives. I do think being at home is mutually beneficial for me and my family. I also think it would keep me from being lonely from hours of studying and work. I actually want to help coach my little brother's football team so i hope to be able to do something like that to keep my mind clear for a few hours a day.

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