How to explanin/convince parents about taking 2nd test/postpone?

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• 1 Like

  esteerose Alum Member

  November 2016 382 karma

  I had to postpone mine, and I am married with a kid so we didn't really have the money. The thing that made my husband really support me in the decision is that he saw that I had been studying for two years, which made me seem pretty legit. Have you shown them the 7sage hours that you have completed? Also, I came up with a study schedule and printed it out..showing how many hours a day i am engaged with LSAT material.
• 5 Likes

  Sami Yearly + Live Member Sage ⭐ 7Sage Tutor

  November 2016 10806 karma

  Hey so I had to do something similar as well. But I think the best advice I can give you is you want to come from a place where you are explaining to your parents a painful decision you have already taken rather than trying to get their approval. I am not saying to talk to them rudely but if you are honest to them about why you took a hard decision and walk them through your thought process you will be surprised how much your parents will come to support your decision. Bring it to them as this is what's needed to achieve the dream that you and your family had always hoped for and taking the test this soon will not be a wise step towards it. Also be honest about your fears and insecurity. I very much told my parents how much I didn't think they would support it, but more than that I hated the fact that I wasn't strong enough in my LSAT knowledge yet and it was frustrating. But I had to face the fact that if I wasn't ready there was no point in taking it. I wasn't going to perform any magic on the test day.
  
  Also, do it during a time where you know your parents would not be distracted. I brought it up by asking them on a nice walk through a scenic area. I also brought my best behaved dog with me. I think the location and fresh air really helps. But I think any thing else that also evokes a pleasant feeling should do it too. I have learned through a lot of practice that anything can be talked about you just have to make sure its the right environment for it.
• 4 Likes

  Cant Get Right Yearly + Live Member Sage ⭐ 🍌 7Sage Tutor

  November 2016 27900 karma

  It's noble to want to support your parents. One of the best ways you can do that is through the opportunities that a killer LSAT score creates for you. The LSAT is an investment in your career and will affect your income--and your ability to support your parents--for the rest of your lives. If they don't already understand this, explaining it may be a way to appeal to their pragmatism.
• Vickpetrosian1 Free Trial Member

  November 2016 edited November 2016 139 karma

  Dont convince.... show .... that your enabling yourself as well as them to have a better chance for a better future. If their very statistical people as in they believe in studies and all. Show them by getting a better score you get into a better school+ scholarship, which enables you to provide extras for them as well as yourself !!
• Alex Alum Member ⭐

  November 2016 23929 karma

  @"Cant Get Right" said:
  It's noble to want to support your parents. One of the best ways you can do that is through the opportunities that a killer LSAT score creates for you. The LSAT is an investment in your career and will affect your income--and your ability to support your parents--for the rest of your lives. If they don't already understand this, explaining it may be a way to appeal to their pragmatism.
  

  This seems like a solid approach.
  
  Show your parents some of the webinars on here that tell the stories of many takers who improved. They are 100% wrong to say it is "impossible."
  
  I was raised by grandparents who were much older, traditional, and basically wanted me to become anything BUT a lawyer. As I finished high school, and entered undergrad, I realized that they didn't know shit from shinola about law, lawyers, or how the world works in the 2010s. I kind of realized that I'm an adult who ultimately has to live with my life choices and that it isn't incumbent upon me to defend and explain those choices.
  
  My advice in explaining your LSAT decision with them is to be direct. Explain the importance. Have the data. Have the stories of the numerous people who have studied long, retaken, and improved greatly.
  
  
• icecreamparfait Free Trial Member

  November 2016 edited November 2016 82 karma

  Thank you all of your insights---
  I actually have already tried all of them you suggested except showing the data.
  Maybe I can do that----but I'm not sure, I was told if I cannot get a decent score on Dec. test, I should just give up---it's not your thing etc.
  They have a point too, I think, so...I don't know. Maybe I should give a shot on Dec. and accept whatever score I get...and see if I still can pursue my dream...
  
  @Sami
  I haven't thought about how environments are important, thanks for bringing it up.
  Do you think presents can work? Or would it be seen as...some sort of bribery?
• Sami Yearly + Live Member Sage ⭐ 7Sage Tutor

  November 2016 edited November 2016 10806 karma

  @mw393730 said:
  Do you think presents can work?
  

  That depends on your parents. You have to really know who are trying to have that tough conversation with. I know that won't fly with my parents but it might work with yours. Also, you want your efforts to be subtle and to seem natural. So try to think of something that will put your parents at ease. For example, what is one thing your parents and you do together that puts them at ease.
  For example some people bond well when they cook together. Something like that.
  
  P.S. if your intuition says they will think its bribery then I would listen to that intuition.
• Alex Alum Member ⭐

  November 2016 edited November 2016 23929 karma

  @mw393730 said:
  Thank you all of your insights---
  I actually have already tried all of them you suggested except showing the data.
  Maybe I can do that----but I'm not sure, I was told if I cannot get a decent score on Dec. test, I should just give up---it's not your thing etc.
  They have a point too, I think, so...I don't know. Maybe I should give a shot on Dec. and accept whatever score I get...and see if I still can pursue my dream...
  

  I hear you, friend.
  The thing is your parents are demonstrably and categorically wrong. How much do your parents actually know about the LSAT/Law school admissions? Have they done any research online? Implore them to do some cursory research themselves. Also, even if the LSAT isn't your "thing," it doesn't need to be. It isn't like you are getting into art and can't draw a stick figure, haha. The LSAT doesn't need to be your thing, but it can be something you work on improving. Perhaps explain to your parents that you are a good student and that when you work at things, you ultimately have always succeeded.
  
  Try the data, but also try to convey, with the several anecdotes on this forum, that increases/retakes are almost always the right choice.
  
  It seems like you also have stopped believing in yourself: This to me is the more concerning issue. At the end of the day, understand that you're an adult and you have to live with your decisions and choices; not them.
  
  I understand you obviously respect and love them, but it doesn't seem like that respect is completely mutual. If your dream is law school, it isn't going to subside. At least not if you don't give it your all.
  
  I know way too many bitter people who gave up on a dream long ago.... You'll be the annoying dude at a bar talking about, "I could have gone to a great law school......but...." And when you're 40, the "but" being your parents will likely cause you to resent them or yourself for listening to them.
  
  Go forth and prep and prove them wrong! I believe in you!
• DEC_LSAT Alum Member

  November 2016 760 karma

  @"Alex Divine" i completely agree with Alex! @mw393730 believe in yourself! if you want it, you can do it. there's always a way. your dreams matter!
• 1 Like

  Cant Get Right Yearly + Live Member Sage ⭐ 🍌 7Sage Tutor

  November 2016 27900 karma

  @mw393730 said:
  I was told if I cannot get a decent score on Dec. test, I should just give up---it's not your thing etc.
  They have a point too, I think, so...
  

  Your parents absolutely do not have a point. All that shows is that their opinions are woefully uninformed. This decision is a big one that will affect the course of the rest of your life, so it should be your decision. If they can't respect your decision, then that's a situation that goes beyond the scope of the LSAT or anything I'm comfortable advising you on. All I can tell you is that they are objectively wrong and that it is a terrible decision to determine your future prospects based on one LSAT that is taken before you are ready to take it.
• icecreamparfait Free Trial Member

  November 2016 82 karma

  Hey guys, thanks again---
  I could not persuade then about Dec. test, but well---
  I think I want to take the 2nd take depending on the score I get on Dec.
  I heard they have read a few books about law school application process...so I think they should know the fact that LSAT score is very important in the app process. But...I already postponed the test day twice, so I think that's kind of why they think I should just take the Dec. test and accept the score I get.
  But I mean---thanks again for the warm comments.
  Honestly I do actually feel depressed a bit (and it's right before the actual test) cuz I did not see much improvement on LR and I feel I need some more practice on RC...all I have been doing these days is just reviewing cuz I'm kinda afraid to do a new PT and see bad score.
  But will try to believe myself on the test day---
  I did try my best and have done so much work so...gotta give myself some credit for that.
• 1 Like

  Sami Yearly + Live Member Sage ⭐ 7Sage Tutor

  November 2016 edited November 2016 10806 karma

  @mw393730 said:
  I do actually feel depressed a bit (and it's right before the actual test)
  

  First, a biiig hug
  
  Second, Is there anything I can say to convince you to just not take the test? If you are not happy with your average score, plus minus 5, I would recommend just postponing it. Is there any way you can take the decision yourself? You know its the right thing for you ultimately.
  
• 1 Like

  Going2lawlschool Member

  November 2016 103 karma

  i just had to deal with this and am currently still studying for my 2nd round at the LSAT! First, much love to you! It's so hard to deal with parents constantly griping like that. I still get it every day, lol, now I just kind of make a mockery of it, so they've gotten the point that it doesn't affect me. I scored really low my first time too, so the whole "maybe it's not your thing" mantra is definitely one I've heard before as well. Just like you, i have to start supporting them, but i'm currently doing Teach For America whilst studying and the income from that has kept them pretty okayish/happy with my decision to retake. SO is there a job or something that you're doing? or are you just studying? I ask because, while beneficial to study full time, it can be so hard to convince parents that it's worth when you're not doing anything else. Maybe a part time gig would help? Volunteer position you could take up? Also, for the depression, what really helped me was exercise, therapy, and taking a break whenever I needed it. Of course, parents saw I wasn't studying and then started to nag again lol! I just say you do what's best for YOU, especially when it comes to such a big decision and investment for your future. Don't let your parents bring you down. Again, much love and know i've been in the same situation as you before!
• icecreamparfait Free Trial Member

  November 2016 82 karma

  Thank you both.
  I talked with my parents again and it seems they will allow me to take 2nd take but for Dec...I kinda have to take it. They did not mention that directly but the atmosphere was a bit different...although it could change later.
  I kinda have to take Dec test cuz otherwise they will get super angry and I don't really want to break our relationships nor make them angry...it'd be really bad for their health too.
  So...yeah, but thanks for all of your advice!
• 1 Like

  Alejandro Member Inactive ⭐

  November 2016 2424 karma

  I followed my parent's pressures and got horrible scores twice. Don't be that guy. I was only able to get a score that can get me to a t-14 school after I started ignoring them and following my own instincts. Most importantly, I was at peace with myself and I had no outside pressures when I was studying and taking the test.
• icecreamparfait Free Trial Member

  November 2016 edited November 2016 82 karma

  @Alejando
  
  right but...I tried everything people say above but it did not work...if I insist it would just make them really angry. (like, "never contact us" level)
  What should I do/say then? That's why I kinda made a thread here...
  How did you talk to your parents on your third take?
• Sami Yearly + Live Member Sage ⭐ 7Sage Tutor

  November 2016 10806 karma

  @mw393730 said:
  if I insist it would just make them really angry. (like, "never contact us" level)
  

  I think you might be underestimating how much your parents love you. I definitely have been guilty of using that to get my way because I know my parents do love me unconditionally. So even though my parents can get really really angry too, I have learned that in a few days/week love always triumphs anger. And they are going to want to talk to me, which I am happy to do so
  
  In the end they just want to help whether they think I am making a mistake or not, despite their advice. So lets assume the worst case scenario, even if you make a mistake acting contrary to their advice and they are angry and later on it turns out later they were right, they might at first say I told you so, but they will still probably want to help and talk to you.
  
  But I am going to say you are right here. So instead of accepting a bad advice, do whats right. They are not going to stop loving you or talking to you just because of LSAT. Well I hope not, because in the scheme of things its not worth it.
  
  
  
  
• Alex Alum Member ⭐

  November 2016 23929 karma

  If you've tried all the advice above to no avail, I think you have a choice you have to make: Follow your dreams or spend your life wondering what could have been. It's really that simple. You're an adult and you have to make your own decisions, man. Sometimes our parents don't love us and don't want what's best for us. More often, they don't fully understand us. That's not really what is in question here though. If they get so angry because you want to work towards a reasonable goal (waiting until you're prepared to take the LSAT) that they cut contact with you, you have really awful and unreasonable parents. First and foremost, you have to recognize that this is your life and you have to make smart decisions for your future.
  
• icecreamparfait Free Trial Member

  November 2016 edited November 2016 82 karma

  @Sami
  You're right Sami,
  I know they do luv me and I luv them so much too, and I understand the reason they said that is bc they care about me...
  I guess I just said that to express how serious they could get mad...but I also understand they will get mad because they're worried about me.
  Well I still have a few days to think about what to do so...yeah I'll try to make the best choice. Thanks
  
  @"Alex Divine"
  Yeah I know---and I guess I assumed too much on this, I know they are just worried about me.
  And yeah thanks, they actually said any law school is fine but after the talk we had yesterday it seemed they changed a bit...like, "any" is actually not that fine...at all.
  (but you know, it's kind of true if you don't have the ability, even if you get into a good law school you might not be able to find a job or may get fired after a few years...all kind of depends on your skill...no?---I heard from a lawyer and he said everyday some people get fired in his work place. small sample size, I know.)
  
• Alex Alum Member ⭐

  November 2016 23929 karma

  @mw393730 said:
  @"Alex Divine"
  Yeah I know---and I guess I assumed too much on this, I know they are just worried about me.
  And yeah thanks, they actually said any law school is fine but after the talk we had yesterday it seemed they changed a bit...like, "any" is actually not that fine...at all.
  (but you know, it's kind of true if you don't have the ability, even if you get into a good law school you might not be able to find a job or may get fired after a few years...all kind of depends on your skill...no?---I heard from a lawyer and he said everyday some people get fired in his work place. small sample size, I know.)
  

  No problem! I'm glad they seem to be coming around at least a little..
  
  Yeah, that's true about law school/legal profession, but can't that be said of any profession, haha?
  
  Also, chances are if you get into a good law school (T14), you have the necessary skills and ability to be a good lawyer and you'll find a good job. Unemployment for the top law schools' grads is infinitesimally small. Unemployment for top law grads are usually the result of bidding solely on ultra-selective firms, or something of that nature.
  
  As far as getting fired after a few years; yeah, that is the probable outcome if you pursue big law due to its inherent model of attrition and up and out model. Still, these people generally find work at lower-ranked vault firms or go in-house at an assortment of F500 companies and banks. In short, if you can handle 2-3 years as a corporate lawyer, you'll land on your feet. Unemployment among ex-big-lawyers is also extremely low.
  
  The lawyer you know is likely exaggerating. That or his firm is going out of business and he hasn't pieced it together yet, haha. I cannot imagine a firm where "some people" are getting fired everyday.
  
  
  Good luck with whatever you decide though! Do what makes you happy and follow your heart & brain and you'll be just fine.
• icecreamparfait Free Trial Member

  November 2016 82 karma

  @"Alex Divine"
  Yeah, at least I think they would not mind if I take 2nd or 3rd test now...I think. But actually they still insist to take the Dec. test and show a result...but well, that's good for now...I guess. (at least I do not have to give up my dream completely?)
  Yeah, right. That's what I thought too actually, everyday some people get fired---it's just sounds like he is trying to scare me and maybe he alarms---be prepared lol
  Anyways thanks for the advice, man
• icecreamparfait Free Trial Member

  November 2016 82 karma

  lol
  
  Can't believe they changed their minds in one night...
  Started to talk about "You have already done so much, you cannot do anymore, if you could, you could have already done that by now...etc" AGAIN.
  Agh...
  Just read Sami's thread and feel like really wanna withdraw this test but I also feel maybe I reached ceiling or smt...even if I could manage to withdraw it I'm not sure I can endure the family pressure......
  Wonder how the doctor managed it. Agh...