Hi guys.
After being approved for remote testing, and more hours than I'd like to count with technical issues, on the testing center's third attempt, I finished the LSAT yesterday.
I know in the future I'd love to write again, not because I did badly this time, but because I'd love to do so. I think it went very well, but that in the future when finances are different I would love to do it in a testing center for real, and I think I'd get a marginally better score. The tools I've gained from learning this test helped expose me to different types of writing, arts, science, things I wouldn't have seen before. I learned about conditional, causal and formal reasoning and I have learned a rhetorical discernment that I'll have for the rest of my life.
People don't know, but this has been the only community I've ever had, where my natural critical thinking has been a tool to be strengthened rather than seen as bad social skills or bad attitude. I know the logical reasoning sections were very good, likely near perfect, A few wrong on the reading comprehension but it definetely was strong. I can't help but feel like I'd like to take on the "LSAT level 2", I feel like it was over almost too quickly. To build the skill involving fluid intelligence rather than memory, to learn and grow without being held back by memory or the physical body has been an amazing experience. I feel like I'd want to learn to get beyond the basic sufficiency/necessity contrapositive, and kind of go on to the next level. However I'm realizing that in this area this test is the top of the line, other than like a phD in philosophy or something (which is useless). I want to do what's next, it felt like I was being illuminated upon as I learned some of the more complex contrortions of causal reasoning, I enjoyed waking up at night thinking and people around me joking I was having "revelations". I feel like someone who was a born athlete that got scouted and trained by the Olympics for a few months, and it went really well, and the door opened, but no matter how wide its open I'm 20 feet below, and I'll never reach.
All thats next is the bar, but I know my financial situation, disability related factors, and my location will make it unlikely to even be able to go to law school. it almost feels like I fear the best is over, not even just this, but the best of life, childhood, hope, curiosity. I want to see whats next though, and I'm sad to let this 7sage community go. I haven't felt smart in a long time. There's nerds here, like my type of nerdy.
5 comments
I don't know why you got downvoted, because I have to agree. after getting out of the LSAT grindset, I find myself missing it? or at least, i don't know what to do with all that free time anymore. prepping for it felt like learning a new language, with its own markers and way of looking at the world so... i enrolled in spanish classes :) i think some of us have an itch to always stay learning.
i recommend picking something new and challenging up like that. similar feelings: getting into the indie web + coding your own site. gamedev. learning guitar. getting interested in one specific topic and going crazy over it for a while (recently: ottoman empire, recording bugs near my job on inaturalist)
OH AND A BIG ONE.. WIKIPEDIA EDITING. I am serious about that shit. there's dwindling numbers of editors and if you find yourself a niche youre passionate about, you can improve entire sections of the #1 source of public knowledge in the web. you're summarizing articles that other ppl may not be able to access and find time to read. for me, i love the wikiprojects for literature and pakistan. i also go around town taking pictures for wikimedia commons, free of use (very helpful to people actually!!) if you want advice on it let me know, i really connect to your post and would love to chat.
Putting aside law school issues, have you thought about tutoring the LSAT? There's so many people out there that need a tutor. Not sure if you have any experience tutoring others in other subjects so I'm sure it could be a daunting idea if it'd be the first thing you tutor someone else in. Likewise, depending on how you fare as a tutor, it can be a large supplementation to your income and even become your main source.
If nothing else, I get that feeling of mourning your relationship to the study rhythm and the LSAT. People look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them that quite a bit of the time I've found it a lot of fun and have enjoyed the process even if it hasn't been an easy one.
You got a 4.1 GPA and probably over a 170 on the lsat? I don't see why you wouldn't get SIGNIFICANT scholarships from many schools. Dont cut yourself short and let all that time and money spent on studying have no ROI. Go to law school and do what you know you want to do.
I appreciate your comment more than you know. I was pretty down when I wrote that post. There’s health struggles that make me struggle to live on my own, and a windfall of cash would alter my family’s eligibility for welfare. But I may as well try to keep my hope alive.
@Lillia555 Hustlers don't stop. Keep pushing til you are where you want to be. You got this.