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It's time
I know what I will have to face, the fear of stress and boredom. This is a journey of a serial procrastinator planning to study and LSAT, Monday to Friday. I tried everything from listening to music while studying, going hard close to deadlines to watching all kinds of motivational videos. I always resort back to my ways of procrastinating. Relapsing again and again. I've had enough.
Day 1
I picked up where I left off. Last time I was on 7sage was in Nov. Work and fear of not perfecting of my studying prevented me from continuing. I studied a good 3 hours today, not bad considering all the stuff I had to do. Voices in my head told me to go back to sleep as I chipped away at the syllabus at 8:30am. They told me to do it later, they told me that it's just too cold in the room right now.
I thought to myself, why don't I take a break and check my email, or look at Facebook. These distractions, which I refer to as screens, are triggers. The pull me to the endless black hole, the Internet. I call it the black hole because once I get sucked in, I can't stop. It is the place I go to escape reality and imagine myself successful, when in reality, I'm at the same job, same house, same city. There is nothing wrong with where I am, but it's not where I want to be. I put my life on hold for many years, but I'm going to reclaim it.
This is my struggle, not with the LSAT, but with myself.
Day 1
I picked up where I left off. Last time I was on 7sage was in Nov. Work and fear of not perfecting of my studying prevented me from continuing. I studied a good 3 hours today, not bad considering all the stuff I had to do. Voices in my head told me to go back to sleep as I chipped away at the syllabus at 8:30am. They told me to do it later, they told me that it's just too cold in the room right now.
I thought to myself, why don't I take a break and check my email, or look at Facebook. These distractions, which I refer to as screens, are triggers. The pull me to the endless black hole, the Internet. I call it the black hole because once I get sucked in, I can't stop. It is the place I go to escape reality and imagine myself successful, when in reality, I'm at the same job, same house, same city. There is nothing wrong with where I am, but it's not where I want to be. I put my life on hold for many years, but I'm going to reclaim it.
This is my struggle, not with the LSAT, but with myself.
Comments
Looking forward to the next PT, imagining scoring that 170+, then doing it again on test day, getting out of that same job, same house, same city.
You're doing this for yourself, and you can do it!
Good luck, @TheBatman!
@stepharizona, Thanks. Like I said, I want to be accountable, so Monday to Friday I will do my best to keep a log for whoever wants to read. Bruce is a good man, he's done a lot for Gotham.
@nibs7985, Thanks.
Day 2
Today was rough, and woke up late around 10am, but the morning was good. I started with some meditation with this App called Headspace, and got to work on the LSAT. Later, I ate, went to the gym, and ate again. After my my meal, I sat down and taught my little brother how to write for about 30min, but when I was finished, I had just remembered that I wanted to show him some funny things on Snapchat, so my mind was like "come on, you won't remember if you don't show him right now, it'll take only 5 seconds." Unfortunately, that 5 seconds turned into 20min because the rest of my family joined in on the fun. After that, I had a couple of incoming messages on Whatsapp, so as I replied, one of my friends, who I haven't spoke to in a long time, and who was participating in one of the Whatsapp group messages, called me. I thought to myself, "I was just on online talking to him and don't want to reject his call, it will only take 5min". But, I ended up talking to him for 30mins.
Committing to the LSAT has taught me a lot about myself. I seek perfection in my studying, and when my momentum is stopped, my mind starts making all kinds of excuses to take a break, but I have to remember that it's my mind playing tricks on me. It's that old self of mine trying to go back to what's comfortable and familiar. I hung up the phone with my friend and got to it. I really wanted to stop because I couldn't concentrate, but I closed my eyes, and tried to control my thoughts. Essentially, when my mind is blocked and I can't understand or think, when dealing with a new concept, I turn away from the screen for about 5min and come back to it. It helped.
Hopefully I do better tomorrow.
Here's what I do:
-Commit to starting at a certain time. You don't have to commit a specific amount of time to study, yet.
-Start at that time.
-When you notice yourself getting bored, or your mind wandering off, stop. Finish whatever video, game, or RC that you're on. Get up, walk away. Walk around the house, go to the backyard, do whatever. As your walking around, commit a few minutes to explaining to yourself whatever you just learned. Then, stop. Use the last 5-10 minutes of your "walk" to relax.
-Come back, and repeat.
-Once it gets to the point where you just can't bring yourself to study, close the lesson, and call it a day.
Do this over and over. Eventually, you'll want to increase the amount of time you put into studying each day. Do so gradually. Don't expect to go from 1 hours of studying/day to 6 hours/day over night.
@MrSamIam Thank you, that's great advice. Yeah, that is just what I need. I am at the point where my mind wanders and I can't concentrate sometimes. What I need to do is to get up, and walk around somewhere for about 5-10 min. That's right, I can't just jump into it. I will take it slow at first and gradually build up my hours of studying.
Day 3
For the LSAT, the day was not productive as I wanted it to be, but I really pushed myself. I had to go to a work meeting early this morning, which got me drowsy for most of the day. The problem was not the work meeting, it was the fact I unable to sleep well last night. For about 6 years, I took melatonin almost everyday (so bad). As I started changing my life, I cancelled it out of my routine, which meant I had to cancel other habits that led to me to take melatonin in the first place, like staying up on my phone in bed. I'm still in the process of regaining my ability to sleep on my own. Caffeine is definitely not an option for me, I can't stand tea, and haven't even tried coffee before. I guess it might be a good thing to stay away from acquired tastes.
To study for the LSAT is to reshape my life. I know being a reader is a plus, so instead of listening to music, I read on the train; instead of listening to music in the car, I listened to a nonfiction audiobook. By the time I got home it was around 4pm, and unfortunately, I was unable to focus for too long because my lack of sleep, that I found myself on Facebook, and quickly shut it off. I wasted about 15min collectively on Facebook, and maybe 20min looking for old Nintendo 64 consoles on craigslist. I literally forced myself to study until I fell asleep on my desk. I look forward to tomorrow, and, thanks to @MrSamIam, I will test out some new strategies when dealing with the LSAT, . Maybe ill take it easy, and work my way into a more rigorous study schedule.
Know what helps me go to sleep? Exercise. I bring my gym clothes with me and bang out atleast an hour after work. By the time you get home and cook/eat n shower, you're so tired you don't even care what facebook says. After a while you start to see improvement- both physically, and mentally. Then you get obsessed with the improvement.
If you still cant fall asleep, youtube asmr videos and listen to them in the dark. Might sound weird at first but trust me. Really focus on the sounds, you'll fall asleep like a baby.
Day 4
I learned something about myself today, I found that when I don't get a concept in the 7sage course, I resort to procrastination. I tell myself, "hey, just take a break on Youtube and Facebook for like 1 second, and then worry about this issue later after a video." I hate the idea of going back and revisiting lessons, the same way that I hate to make two trips to get groceries from the car. I kill myself carrying all the groceries, and even go as far as having the blood circulation cut from my hands, so I don't make two trips. I procrastinated for a bit, but when I started concentrating, I had to go out and run errands. One never knows what the day will hit them with, so it's better to work hard and finish their studying sooner than later. I'm still adjusting to the LSAT.
I would also advise against watching TVs or playing games after taking a nap. After a short nap, I usually feel fully charged. So don't waste your fresh mind on some brainless shows or games (I don't really play video games. But I'm assuming they are brainless, that's why your brain is forcing you to choose video games instead of much more challenging Logic Games so that it can take a prolonged break:).
But don't beat yourself up if you just don't feel like study at all. In fact, when that happens, just take the whole day off. If you schedule allows it, take the whole week. Hang out with your friends and families, or maybe dogs and cats depends on your social circle:).
A Dose of Harsh Reality:
However, if even after a long break, you still have no motivation or energy to study for the test. You should reevaluate your attitude and ask yourself how much you really want to succeed on the LSAT. Because it's REALLY JUST a standardized test!!! Your potential law degree, your future career as a lawyer or any other professions you choose to pursue after law school are bound to be much more difficult than this. So if you cannot even handle the challenge and the stress of the test, please do yourself a huge favor and quit now.
I might share too much, but I mean well:). The last part is really for myself or whoever needs it. Looking forward to reading about your future days.
Take @Galapagos.1001's advice and carefully examine your long-term goals. They should bring you some motivation.
@Galapagos.1001 Your Dose of Harsh Reality is spot on, and what you wrote is motivating in itself. I feel the fact that I am unable to study sometimes stems from a deeper problem. Committing to goals was always a weak point growing up. During my undergrad, I just powered through most assignments because I knew I could finish them, at most, in three days. I tried to start a lot of hobbies over the years, but never saw any of them through. For my case, it's not the LSAT that is holding me back, it's me. Good news is, I am more productive than I ever was. I narrowed my goals to a select few important ones, and made sure to change my life around. I am also learning what triggers my procrastination, so I can stop it before it starts, most times.
Thanks, I got it.
Day 5
I just finished reading To Stop Procrastinating, Start by Understanding the Emotions Involved By Shirley S. Wang.
Scientists define procrastination as "the voluntary delay of an action despite foreseeable negative future consequences. It is opting for short-term pleasure or mood at the cost of the long-term." Many of us choose to get lost in whatever we choose to procrastinate with. A way to deal with this issue is to "break a long-term project down into specific sub-goals. State the exact start time and how long (not just “tomorrow”) you plan to work on the task." My plan was just LSAT study with no indication of what I was going to do. Thinking about the LSAT by itself is a daunting task, but breaking it down is easier. The article reads "just get started. It isn’t necessary to write a long list of tasks, or each intermediate step. Remind yourself that finishing the task now helps you in the future. Putting off the task won’t make it more enjoyable." I've tried the long list thing before, and it did not work. From all the motivational books or articles I have read, they always emphasize just getting started. "In addition, procrastinators often seem unable to see as clearly into the future about their choices and behaviors as non-procrastinators—a phenomenon she calls “temporal myopia.” Their vision of their future selves is often more abstract and impersonal, and they’re less connected emotionally to their future selves. Temporal myopia may be largely due to their high levels of stress which can shift their focus to more immediate rather than distant concerns. The vision for my future was always weak. Being a lawyer was mainly a goal of mine, but I didn't understand or see it. Now that I am older, I am starting to strengthen my vision of the future, which has allowed me to be more productive toward the things I deem important, but I still need to get more efficient. "Focusing on time management alone will help procrastinators, but only so much, the scientists say. The emotional regulation component must be addressed as well." “If you’re an occasional procrastinator, quit thinking about your feelings and get to the next task,” says Dr. Pychyl. “But if you’re a chronic procrastinator, you might need therapy to better understand your emotions and how you’re coping with them through avoidance.” Sometimes procrastination itself stems from a deeper problem. Sleep, health, and fitness is a good start on changing our attitude in life. We tend to act differently when have a balanced life. But, if we can't quite stop procrastinating, we should ask ourself if it stems from a deeper problem in our lives.
Take tiny steps just like the experts recommend. Don't think about getting a 180, getting into that dream school, getting that dream job, or even studying in the ideal way. Chill. Try to do something little daily. For instance, "today I'm going to cover 1 lesson" or "today I'm just going to sit down and get my LSAT stuff out as if I'm going to study and we'll see what happens after that." If you do something, anything at all, feel good about it. If you do more, great. If you don't, whatever. Still reward yourself for trying to make the LSAT less scary and stressful. Don't beat yourself up for not studying "perfectly."
For many if they work themselves up into moods where they dislike studying because they're afraid they'll make mistakes and ... making mistakes encourages them to play out various apocalyptic scenarios in their heads. Then, avoiding studying becomes a natural thing. They get stuck. Progress isn't made in any direction. WHY?
In terms of the LSAT, I don't know what your long-term goals are, but I don't think that sort of attitude is helpful. I suggest that you think critically about why perfection in studying is something you want? How does it even help you?
If you realize that it's not helpful, I think it'll be easier for you to ditch. Simple stupid goals, making mistakes while studying, and being a bit gentle with yourself is probably a more efficient way to go about things. Doing that will also make the LSAT more of a game and less of a chore. This is something you're devoting a lot of time to, so you might as well enjoy it as much as you can.
To be a better writer, negotiator, reader, manager, and speaker, is my plan, and I wanted those skills so I could be a strong player wherever I end up; I feel law school will give me those skills. With a law degree, my future will be broader when it comes to a career. My long term goal is to work internationally toward peace in troubled regions in the world, where I don't know what position or title I would have. I know there are institutions and master programs that concentrate on negotiation and/or human rights, but with a law degree I feel I have more positions/titles I can fill. My short term goal was to be a barrister/court room attorney. With a law degree, I'll be comfortable knowing I have a professional degree under my belt when building my life and family.
Right now, I wish to be more consistent with the LSAT. Blogging about my study days allows me to be accountable for my actions and receive good advice. Hopefully someone can look at this experience and learn from it when I'm done.
@Elle2015 You're so right. I've been over stressing myself with big goals. I need to relax. What you said opened my eyes and made me realize that I indeed need to chill out. Yep, that sounds about right. I did not feel like that until I read this. You're right. For example, when I work out, I don't think about my end goal, I just tell my self get to the gym and workout. Over time, results come. I should just apply that strategy with studying for the LSAT. I need rethink my approach with the LSAT, because that sounds exactly like what's going on in my mind, especially the "apocalyptic scenarios in their heads" part. I'll have fun with it and not be hard on myself. Thanks!
Ill be revisiting this discussion again on Monday. Have a good weekend everyone.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autonomous_sensory_meridian_response
ASMR videos usually involve one or more of the following things:
• Gentle whispering
• Relaxing hand movements
• Nail tapping/scratching on hard surfaces such as tables
• Brushing sounds
• Etc.
It's like sleep hypnosis in a way. If you focus on the sounds you seriously get tingles, it's weird and inexplicable. I listen to the self-affirmation ones, but there are alot of different kinds.
I'll give it a try when I have my next stress attack. haha.
@tanes256, we can conquer the LSAT together. I think part of it is understanding ourselves a bit better. Haha, and you got me laughing with the "Survivor Premiere" excuse. Sounds like me, except with a movie on TV.
Day 6
I took it slow today. For some reason I feel like I am running out of time, and part of it is that I am comparing myself with others. Like I mentioned before, my friends have their careers started and are married, and one of them is pregnant. Also, my younger brother of two years just finished his bachelors degree in business, and is looking for a job, and I'm still stuck planning to write the LSAT. This makes me feel like I am running out of time, and this adds guilt, which doesn't allow me to study effectively. In addition, my parents don't want me to write the LSAT, and they want me to start working. I'm not letting all that get to me. I chose to do something, and DAMN IT I'll do whatever I need to do TO DO IT! We write our own story! So like I said, I took it slow today. I did an hour of studying and didn't feel intimidated by what I need to accomplish, I just didn't think about the future or my planned LSAT score. One day at a time. Soon I'll build it up to more hours. I learned from reading your comments that if I think about getting a high score and getting into my dream school, I will always feel guilty about not studying enough. The guilt will cause me to procrastinate. Day 6 was a success, and now I shall move forward without looking too forward (if you know what I mean).
Day 7
Today was great and I worked efficiently for about 1 hour and 20 min in total. I did get distracted spending a lot of time on news websites, and reading on Obama's planned visit to Cuba. Mornings is when I work better, so tomorrow I hope to get straight into the LSAT and not waste time. Like I mentioned before, I am planning to study for at least hour a day for the first week, and then up the hours in the coming weeks. When stressed, I am inefficient, and tackling something like the LSAT is not easy for me. Not being stressed helps me comprehend ideas quicker. But, now that I'm relaxed, my mind is trying to find things to worry about. One thing that I learned is to schedule worry time. For example, if I stress about something work related, or an issue in my life, I try to schedule the issue to 7pm. I tell myself that I will sit there and worry about this problem for 15min. But, if I don't remember to take those 15min, next time the problem creeps into my mind, and I try to reschedule it, my brain will be like "nah man, last time you promised you would think about it at 7pm, you lied." That's why it's important to keep promises to ourselves. Of course, if one just broke up with their significant other, or something big happened, it wouldn't be easy to schedule worry time. Time heals in that instance, and we could try to do what we can to study.
This was another good day. It was short, because I had a lot to do, but I still had time to study for the LSAT. I did however procrastinate a bit right before I started, but I am confident with time, I will stop, or at least cut it down. Today I had thoughts creep into my mind on how there is no point to study for the LSAT, and it's too late. Too late because I am in my late 20s and acquaintances who are younger than me have written, are in law school and/or finished law school and are working. My mind says maybe this is not for you, and your not cut out for this. I told my brain to stop it. I have accepted, that there are negative thought patterns that we just can't change, so instead of trying to change them, I observe that they're there, and ignore them. These negative thoughts stem from problems in our past, and possibly are directly from our upbringing, but it's no ones' fault.
Among a few things, I drew inspirations from this video. I find that I have to actively tell my self to stop it when I start thinking of negative thoughts.
Time progresses. Not a lot to say, but it was nice scheduling procrastination time. Every night before I sleep, or morning before I do anything, I write down what needs to be done during that day. Today, I literally wrote "procrastination 7pm." on my to do list. Like mentioned in previous posts, I usually schedule worrying time, but I thought to schedule procrastination time, and it worked. Mind you, it was the first time I ever tried it, so I wont jump to any conclusions of success. Incidentally, I felt a faint voice in my head telling me that I was not working hard enough and need to put more time. The voice is getting weaker and weaker each time I silence it. I was actually excited to move on to the next lesson in 7sage, but had to go out. Looking forward to tomorrow.
Like the past few days, I got off to a good start. Working on the LSAT first thing in the morning is when I get the most done. Everyone has their optimal study time, but mine is in the morning. During my 7sage course work today, I found that I didn't get a concept. Instead of procrastinating my time away, I got up, and did something. Screens (T.V., phone, or YouTube) were not an option. I get frustrated and stressed when I don't get something, and once I turn on the screens, my energy gets sucked. I just went and ate a snack, and did the dishes. When I came back, I had a whole new approach and was energized. I am progressing better than before.
When I was younger, especially after high school, I had sleeping issues. I was using melatonin almost every night for more than 5 years. Now that I don't use it anymore, it's sometimes hard for me to sleep soundly. I am getting much better though. Sometimes I wake up with headaches. Advil or Tylenol are not an option for me because I hate using nonnatural stuff. Plus, I don't do anything caffeinated, and hate the taste of anything except water (strange right), so coffee and tea are out of the question. I'm still figuring out ways to wake up better.
Day11
I got home late, and it was hard to buckle down and study, but I did it. The irrational part of my brains is telling me, "what your doing is not enough, you're not going to get a high score when you're working this slow." I've been more consistent than ever, and I will build upon my hours soon. Right now, it's time for me to work my way into it. No matter how much I study, I will never feel like I did enough, and that is what prevented me from studying in the first place.
I woke up late, and didn't get out of my bed for a while. That ate up my time, and I didn't have time to finish studying until later that night. My attention was not as sharp. I did my hour of studying without stress. There is always this headache I wake up to. It's annoying, but I ain't sweating it; it could be worst. I've experienced intense anxiety while studying 7 years ago, and it took me many years to overcome it. Now I finally can study, so it's all good. At this point in my life, my score should reflect my level of organization and will power. I expect my score to move up by a lot of points, but I'm not sure how much it will. Like, if I spend 2 years of consistent studying, I imagine I could get a 180, but I don't have that luxury of time. I hope to enter law school in 2017, and write the LSAT in October at the latest. I am open to whatever outcome regarding my future. Studying for the LSAT has really changed my life, and made me a better student. Plus, I can pick up on normal day to day flaws in arguments. But, I'm not the type to argue for no reason anyways.
The feeling is great. For the first time in my life I am sticking to something. The reason I am sticking to it is because I committed to an hour a day. Woke up this morning to nice fresh air and the sound of cars whizzing by; the window was open, and it was nice and sunny outside. The window is directly to the left of my bed and an arms reach away, it was slightly opened. I had to stop the thought of staying under the covers longer, because I knew that I had to get up. I pulled the covers off, and felt the coldness as something cold and invisible was hugging my body. I reached over to my left to close the window, and felt the soreness of my body from the day before, but it was a good type of pain. Now that I started working out, I sleep better, and sometimes feel a bit sore the next day. I walked straight to my desk, sat down, and opened 7sage. I felt the my fingers touch the keyboard more than I do when starting later in the day. It felt good to start out the day with the most challenging task. The LSAT is not the challenging part, but sticking to studying it is. 45 minutes into doing some exercises, I felt a bit frustrated and wanted to procrastinate on some screens. I would say, I almost relapsed back to my old ways. Before mindlessly clicking on YouTube or email, I leaned back, closed my eyes and asked myself "why do you feel like this?" It was because of my feeling from my past, and the hard time I had in school, which I will elaborate on tomorrow. I continued, because my excuse was unreasonable. I suffered hardship as student in my formative years, but that will not dictate my future. I went on, and I am happy to say, I finished my studying for today.
Edit: Regarding when I said "It was because of my feeling from my past, and the hard time I had in school, which I will elaborate on tomorrow." I don't think it's relevant to elaborate. We all go through problems/issues, and I will not let my problems hold me back from achieve my dreams.
Did i mention our goals are the same as well?! FREAKY.
@sarahfatima28 The important thing to know is we are not alone. We all have different distractions, but at the end of the day they are distractions, an escape from discomfort. This discomfort can be tied to experiences we had in the past, and/or a self defeating self talk. Don't give up, and keep on trying different ways until you find what works best. Remember, if you slip, don't be hard on yourself. And, if our goals are the same, then I wish you the best of luck, and hope you continue pursuing them.
Day 13
The day started well, studying wise, but could have been better. I woke up late and still wanted to stay in bed longer. The night before, I decided I needed a reward before I slept, because I had done well that day. The reward was to watch King Kong (2005), while I ate a bowl of yogurt and nuts. I was playing on TV, and I thought to myself, "okay, what's wrong with just watching 15 min of this movie, and getting up right when I finish eating." Unfortunately that didn't happen. It was already around 12am, and I ate slower. Even when I finished my bowl, I was hooked to see what happened to that monkey. The worst thing is, I already watched it, and I knew what was going to happen. I don't even like that movie too! So, after 2am I decided, that was enough. Needless to say, I don't think I'll be doing that again. I've been in this territory before. Where I think I had beaten procrastination, but let me guard down and fell back to my old ways. On to the next day.
Every morning, I get up, sit at my desk, and work way on studying the LSAT. I found that I am most productive in the morning, so I will take full advantage of that. There are so many things I want to do, but after weighing my priorities, I found studying the LSAT is most important. My life is slowly piecing together, and fitting my studying schedule. I deal with each problem that stands in the way of efficient and consistent studying. First, it was stress caused from lack of exercise; now I exercise daily for about an hour. Next, it was poor time management, so I made sure to prioritize my responsibilities. Then, it was procrastination due to intimidation; the intimidation stemmed from the constant dreaming of scoring high and getting into the best law school. To deal with this, I cut down my studying to 1 hour a day, and learned how to control my thoughts. Every time I imagined the future, I told myself "stop it," and came back to the present. I am the type that rehearses every conversation, and tries plan out/imagine the future exactly they way I want. Problem is, these are things that I can't control. The future is out of my hands. The best I can do is set a goal, and get ready to go with the flow. The next issue i'm going to deal with is sleep. I sleep too late, and wake up too late, so ill try to adjust my sleep cycle and see how that goes.
Keep these entries going!
@"J.Y. Ping" This comic is great. It was hilariously informing. Thanks.
Day 19
Missed a few days on the blog entry. I was really busy, and by the time I got home, I was way to tired to open my laptop. The good news is I kept up with my studying. 1 hour a day. I sometimes exceed an hour because of how involved I get working away on a lesson. Last week was tough because of how busy I was, but I pushed through, and told myself "at least an hour. It will add up Batman." And, indeed I find myself understanding the material. For me, the LSAT is like working out. While working out, I found that I'm not getting the results I want, even though I am putting in the time. That's when I had to take a step back and think of what I was missing. It was lack of calorie intake. I was working out, but not getting eating enough calories for my muscles to grow. This is the exact way I feel about studying the LSAT right now. Today I felt discouraged because I was getting easy questions wrong, and not progressing at the rate that I want. So, it was time to take a step back, and figure out what I could change or add to my studying method. Normally I would tell myself, "the LSAT is not for you, people can get this stuff, but just not you." This time I told myself "it's time to change it up." Reading my notes a out loud before I begin is what I decided to do. It sounds simple, but I totally overlooked how important it is to reread my notes over and over again, and there's trick to it. All my notes are structured as questions with answers. Reading them out loud everyday will engrain them in my mind. This is how I was able to score A's in many of my courses at college (during my last 2 years of college). I learned this method from a book called How to Become a Straight-A Student: The Unconventional Strategies Real College Students Use to Score High While Studying Less by Cal Newport. I know it sounds lame/corny, but I learned a lot from the author. He has his own blog at http://calnewport.com/.
And while we are at it,here is another resource that might be of some help. The table she makes to figure out the root cause is ingenious. http://www.vox.com/2016/3/4/11147432/immunity-to-change
@stepharizona My panic monster hasn't kicked in for a while now. Every time I feel him coming, I try to suppress him by telling myself "everything is going to be okay."
Day 38
Sorry, I haven't been updating because I thought I would get too repetitive. Ill just try to write whatever comes to mind and not worry about anything, when I can. I'm glad to say that I was consistent with my studying. I can't control how the day turns out, so some days I was only able to study for 30 min, but other days I can go for 2 hours. Taking breaks that don't involve screens (phones, T.V., internet, computer, etc...) has given me the energy and motivation to keep going. I remember one day I decided to sit down and watch Shark Tank, and couldn't bring myself to study and concentrate after, I felt this overwhelming feeling of what I can only describe as anxiety of some sort. I'm no psychologist, but I think I might have been addicted to screens, in an unhealthily escapist kind of way. Anyways, stay strong and don't give up because as a human, you are powerful beyond measure. Just the other day my little cousin thanked me for giving her advice that I learned a few years ago, that "we are our own worst critics." We can be meaner to ourselves than any human can be to us. Sometimes J.Y. talks about how easy a question was during the video explanation, and how everyone "probably got it right." I feel stupid when I get those questions wrong, and my mind starts telling me that "the LSAT is not for you," and "how the hell are you going to get better before the next test date," but I just tell my mind "stop it," and carry on.
Edit: grammer