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I'm not really sure how to feel..

mpits001mpits001 Alum Member
edited July 2015 in General 938 karma
Well, everyone, I did it. I got the score required to get me into the school I'd like to go to. Ultimately I'm still not sure how I feel about it. For those of you who know my story, I'll make this brief. My first time taking the exam I received a 147. It destroyed me. I remember I was playing ranked and just straight up afked and curled into a ball (kudos to those who get the reference.)

LG killed me on this exam and the exam I took prior to this one. I'm not exactly sure why? It is literally always my best section on PTs (-2, -3, -5 MAX). Sure I have a few off exams, but it was never a huge issue. Anyway, on this exam I did better on LR/RC, this exam I didn't panic or freak when I hit difficult questions or felt pressured. I had been here before and I knew how to handle it. So far I applied to 2 law schools (with my previous score) and both of them are over an hour away, very very expensive, and offer very low amounts of living wage aid. In all honesty, even with my Hyundai Veloster, I don't think I'd be able to afford annual gas costs. You may be asking why I put myself in this situation, and my answer is that I didn't perform well on the last exam and then, there's my family.

So, I was a bit lucky. I was given a chance to retake the exam and possibly get another shot at my school if seats were not full. I wasn't promised anything but, hope, however small, widened my eyes and made me hit the books (well I used the Internets, I only used one book and that was the LSAT Trainer, LOL) again. This time I had 5 classes, and a crap load of other responsibilities. My family played a huge guilt trip on me. My grandfather bought me a car (the Hyundai Veloster). This was something he had saved/planned for since I was a kid, but he was using it as leverage with law school because he thinks if I take a year off he won't be around to see me graduate. This killed me. My father threatened to charge a lot for rent, to the point where I'd "barely be able to study" (whatever that means) and also played the guilt card with my grandfather. My uncle did the same with guilting me about my grandfather. Every time I brought up waiting a year, I was dismissed without further discussion. My girlfriend supported me, but I felt alone on an island overall. From my understanding, family support during law school is very important. Yet, I couldn't garner any support pre-law school. This frustrated me. This is MY future. They all dismissed any advice from people I quoted on 7Sage, my counselor from undergrad (who went to law school, practiced, and now is in charge of pre-law advising at my school.) No matter who it was and no matter the credentials, they did not care. I even tried to have a friend of mine (who they knew well) explain it to them. He took a year off to study for the GMAT, got a 700, and went to Minnesota for a masters in business (graduated top of his class), and is now going to Georgetown for a masters in finance. Once again, his words did not stick.

This is a rare opportunity, though. My score, although it may be too late for my desired school, is good enough for the next cycle and I may be able to leverage that to take a year off. There is absolutely no reason for me to put myself in huge debt for a year, possibly screw up, and not be allowed to ultimately transfer to the school that is not only a lot more practical, but better for my future (my desired school is 5 minutes away, I completed my undergrad there, is SIGNIFICANTLY CHEAPER, more living wage money for assurance, and has a lot more job opportunity post-grad.) I think this argument will leverage pretty well, because it's tangible and backed by my current score (previously they thought if I wait to take the exam I may fuck up and screw myself in the long run.) I can then study AGAIN for the exam and possibly do a hell of a lot better, and get better scholarships. Also, during my year off I can pay the capital on my student loan and slowly pay that off as well. What's your advice, everyone? I know a lot of this stuff may be too much for a 7Sage forum, but I feel if I ask for advice all details should be on the table.

Tl;DR Not sure how to feel, got desired score but felt I could have done better if I wasn't pressured/forced by my family to rush it. Can possibly use my current score to leverage taking a year off if seats are full, and can study to get more scholarship money and not put myself more in debt just to save a year.

I'd also like to take the time to thank 7Sage for everything it has given me. I would not be where I am today without you guys to guide me through this journey. I'd also be broke as hell. I have more to say, but's for a later time and another post <3.
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Comments

  • Student76Student76 Alum Member
    324 karma
    You know the answer. I completely respect family so i mean this with no disrespect, they will not be paying this debt. And the guilt of your grandfather possibly "not being able to see you graduate"? If that happens, is ok. He will know. He won't see great grandchildren from you either but had not pressuring you to go get someone pregnant. Congrats on your score. I would apply early decision and retake in Oct for higher score/possible scholarship. It's time they respect your decisions for your life.
  • mpits001mpits001 Alum Member
    938 karma
    @Student76 Thank you! Yeah I understand what you're saying, but it still just feels hard. We will see. If I don't get accepted I'm applying early and retaking in Oct/Dec. Thank you for responding :)!
  • inactiveinactive Alum Member
    12637 karma
    Hope you didn't get a leaver buster for that ranked game. Ouch.
    image
  • visualcreedvisualcreed Member Inactive ⭐
    326 karma
    A lot of people bring these situations up but the fact is if your family supports you financially you are definitely obligated to whatever they wish. Once you make it on your own then you can do as you please.

    You have to ask yourself what you think is better for you and then go make it happen. If you have to take a year off, go get a job, go get your own place, make it on your own. If you rather stay put then go get into school, get it over with.
  • PacificoPacifico Alum Inactive ⭐
    8021 karma
    This post may come off as a bit harsh, but I feel like I need to put it out there, so apologies in advance if this hurts a bit. This whole situation sounds insanely toxic, which may be hard to hear when it comes to your family, but it's the truth. Nobody who is truly looking out for your well-being and has an understanding of the dynamics at work would treat you in this manner. It sounds like you're either still in college or just graduated if I'm getting your story right, but you need to realize that as an adult, your family will not so much be the one you grew up with, as the one you create. Of course it's great to have a support network during law school, but it doesn't have to be the family you grew up with, and honestly, if I were you, I wouldn't want to go to law school within 1,000 miles of these people. It's good that your girlfriend is supportive, and if y'all are in it for the long haul, I would definitely lean on her for support, but you can't rely on her or anyone else to get through this journey, that's on you.

    While it sounds like you might be able to go to a law school now that you don't really want to, and you think you could do better, and have a desire to do so, then as @Student76 said, "you know what to do". If your dad is charging you rent to live at home then that takes away the biggest advantage to living at home. Go somewhere else. Furthermore, lawyers will exist until the day you die. They're not going anywhere. Neither are law schools. I messed up a lot of things in college that meant my dreams of being a lawyer were all but dead. It took me almost a decade to pay my dues, get right with society, and get back on the path to becoming a lawyer. And when that finally happens I'll be halfway through my 30s. When I was 20 I thought I would have been a lawyer for a decade at that point, but life has a way of taking you on some crazy journeys to your destination. I say all this to say that there's absolutely no harm in taking a year off, or two, or three, so you can work and save money so you can be more comfortable during law school and/or take on less debt.

    And finally, as far as debt is concerned, it will be yours alone, unless of course someone cosigns, but given the terrible way you have been treated by your family I would highly recommend not doing that. I don't know what kind of lawyer you want to be or where you want to work, but make sure that your investment properly aligns with your likely outcomes and prospects when you become a lawyer. If you're chasing big law and you go to a place with a high placement rate, then sure, more debt is okay. But if you want to go be a public defender, then go to the best school you can for that outcome.

    But please, get rid of all this negativity in your life and find something more positive. It will pay dividends for years to come. Good luck to you, I hope everything works out, and if you ever want to talk more feel free to hit me up anytime.
  • emli1000emli1000 Alum Member Inactive ⭐
    3462 karma
    I can relate to you a lot! My family didn't rush me into taking the LSAT. But I'm glad they were supported even though one of my siblings would always tell me to quit studying and forget my dream to attend law school. Because he just felt that I dedicated too much time to prep for the LSAT. I have a big family so every weekend we all get together at my parents house but with LSAT prep I kind of disappeared after an hour or two and they didn't like that, but they understood I had to study. I ended up getting into the school of my choice by taking a summer program in June. Afterwards I realized that I would end up paying 90K in loans after 3 years... It's not worth it to me. I told my parents today that I would rather sit for the LSAT one more time and apply in the fall in hopes of getting scholarship money. I don't have any debt from undergrad but I just cannot see myself getting into 90k worth of loans. It just sounds unrealistic to me. My parents both understood and have accepted that I will take another year off. My plan was to only take 1 year off in '13 now it's going to be 3 years instead. It kind of sucks... but this late in the cycle there isn't much money to go around and I just cannot see myself getting stuck with such debt. My father always said to me that if I do not have money for something that I want then I do not need it. He's an entrepreneur and has never taken out any loans for his businesses or anything that he owns so if he's able to do that then I don't see why I must take out loans for my profession if there are so many opportunities out there for scholarships and also retaking the LSAT. I will apply in Oct. and retake in Dec.
  • mpits001mpits001 Alum Member
    938 karma
    @Pacifico I understand that they aren't trying to come across the way they do (my father/grandfather) but it is very toxic. You're right on the money about just graduating. I'm currently looking for jobs and was just offered to work on the Rubio campaign. So if that pays I can see myself taking a year off (my father would support that idea because he likes Rubio.) I want to be a family attorney and do my best to change some things in the system, as I am a byproduct of how shitty it is. It's just too easy for courts to send kids to therapists or have doctors drug them instead of assigning more responsibility to the parents to act mature and handle the situation properly. Thank you for commenting, it helped me a lot. Also, I'm glad you were able to find yourself on that road to what you want, even after all those years!

    @emli1000 I understand that sentiment. I had family and friends badger me all the time. They'd give me shit, mock me, and just overall treat it as if it's not important. They don't really understand so I didn't hold them against it. I feel in the same boat. After having undergrad loans (not a lot but I do) I don't want to compound that with more. Even if I get a good job after law school, I can't imagine having to worry about 100k (undergrad + law loans.) I think I found my window into taking a year off, but it all depends on what happens in the next week or two. I'd also like to thank you for your reply, it helped me a lot as well :)!
  • nicole.hopkinsnicole.hopkins Inactive Sage Inactive ⭐
    7965 karma
    @Pacifico said:
    This whole situation sounds insanely toxic, which may be hard to hear when it comes to your family, but it's the truth. Nobody who is truly looking out for your well-being and has an understanding of the dynamics at work would treat you in this manner.
    [...]
    But please, get rid of all this negativity in your life and find something more positive.
    Awww someone give this man a hug. (I nominate your kiddo ;) ). Such wisdom here.
    @mpits001 said:
    currently looking for jobs and was just offered to work on the Rubio campaign.
    DO IT!! Working on a presidential campaign is tremendously valuable experience, and Rubio should be a good campaign. I think he'll go far and it's not likely to be as negative/attacked as, say, the Cruz campaign. Seriously, methinks you would regret not taking this opportunity. I wish I had been able to do that.
  • mpits001mpits001 Alum Member
    938 karma
    @nicole.hopkins I should be able to this summer, but my professor told me to let him know if I take a year off to participate further. A part of my wants to do it for a year, but if I get accepted to the law school of my choice and I decline, it may affect me when I apply again for the next cycle :(! So we'll see >.<!
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