The mindgame of the LSAT

So I am sure many of you are sitting in anxiety and fretting over the what ifs as much as I am right now waiting for the score to be released. My advisor is a wonderful professor and a lawyer himself. As he said, welcome to the profession; it's a lot of money to take tests and a lot waiting. Well, I guess there is a silver lining in all of this. I am very blessed to be graduating my university a semester early with a 3.8. My whole life I have been a good student. I never really had to study until college. Granted I would study prior to this, but I have a very good memory and a lot came naturally (except math and science). Alas, when I took the SAT that was not my thing. I have never been so wonderful at standardized tests. It just is something that is an internal battle for me. The test anxiety gets to me.
Now coming to the LSAT...my new enemy. I began studying with Kaplan and took a course last May. I studied for 5 weeks and in my eyes "bombed" the LSAT. I was devastated. I probably should have listened to my gut and put off until September like a good friend of mine did. There has never been something in my life that has been so challenging academically. I just don't understand how one test could mean so much and could be such a barrier for so many people. If you have enough determination and will to succeed, the law school process will be what you make of it. I have a few friends who did not do wonderfully on the LSAT (in the low 150s) and are doing wonderfully in law school and on the Dean''s List.
I know that once the LSAT is behind me I will be able to take the huge leap of faith and give it my all in law school. Although, right now I am feeling pretty defeated. I have been studying waiting for the December results just in case I need to take again in February as I am already signed up. Many people not in this position question my motives. They think I should just give up and not bother. They don't understand why I have to miss out on going to many events or study so much. Its because I have this fire inside of me to succeed and reach my goals. I am sure many of you have already stopped reading, bravo if you made it here lol, but I just know that we all have that same feeling. Friends of mine in the same boat see the gut wrenching fear that the LSAT process gives. The anxiety. The fear of both wanting to know and not wanting to see it pop up. The need to plan ten steps ahead before you can even get to step one. However, eventually, we will all get there. Thank you JY and 7Sage for helping us on this journey. And for some reason writing this word wall has been therapeutic. I'm done now. Good luck to all!