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i was doing some brainstorming on ideas for my personal statement
and wanted to get the communities take on them.
i studied abroad in the middle east for 3 yrs and the academy i studied in lacked a gym . the closest gym to us was about an hour away and exorbitantly expensive. i am a fitness fanatic and after a year of working out in my room with whatever objects i could use as weights i decided that this has to end. i went to the school and petitioned them to give me a room in the dormitory to use as a gym, after many long arguments, they agreed to give me a small room as long as the school would have no expenses from the gym. I then went out and fundraised money for gym equipment and new flooring. i was able to raise a few thousand dollars. i travelled 2 hrs to closest gym supplier and purchased whatever machinery and weights we could afford and the flooring, they shipped it to the academy. and i spent a week installing the flooring myself and building all the equipment, for the next 2 years i did the maintenance and upkeep of the gym until i came back stateside.
any thoughts on this idea would be much appreciated . thanks for reading!
Comments
I would try to specifically mention a student and how it impacted their life to have/not have a gym so it has an emotional component.
Also, does anything in your resume make it blatantly evident that you’re on the path to become an attorney?
If not, try to tie your PS into why you want to go to law school a little bit. Like maybe you want to be a children’s rights advocate or do something for charity or finance idk.
What was the purpose of the gym? Was it for your personal use or communal use? How did it affect you and others?
@"surfy surf" I don't think that your PS or resume has to be show to your path to becoming an attorney. If you can make your reason into a PS, that's great and is a solid time-saver for when schools require essays about that. But if you can make a bomb PS out of something else, why not?
hey guys, sorry i completely forgot to mention that the real impetus for building the gym was that my academy had 120 guys in it that all needed a gym but were unsuccessful in soliciting the school to build one. everyone in the school used the gym free of charge and i still hear from people there that they use it daily
I think you'd really have to show that you identified a need, and that the gym was created to be a resource for everyone. However, I'm not really sure how you'd turn that into a PS. I would purchase the admissions course for $10 and watch those videos. They can help you way more than I can.
This could be an interesting topic and it sounds like you are very passionate about it. A couple things to consider, you definitely want to tie your PS to qualities that would likely make you a good law student and a good lawyer. The way you wrote your story (although I know it's just a brainstorm), it makes you sound a little entitled. "to GIVE me a room" "many long arguments"... Some of the things you said don't paint you in the best light, in my opinion. I have also lived abroad for some time and adjusted my workouts to my environment. There are many physical activities you can do without a typical gym. A few countries (although I'm not sure about where you were) have gym equipment at most public parks, for example. It also doesn't highlight the fact that there are more concerns for a gym than just the space and equipment, such as liability.
That being said, I think that you can write about this topic to highlight your advocacy skills for yourself and classmates, your fundraising ability, your work ethic, negotiation skills, etc. I would just be EXTRA careful about sounding entitled, as though you moved to another country, they didn't have something you felt like you deserved, you didn't adapt to a different way of life, you demanded an American luxury, and you succeeded.
Please don't take offense to anything I just said. I mean it as a positive critique and just wanted to show that certain word choices can leave a negative impression.