Caught up in what could have beens and what may be

texvd1988

I am going to take the LSAT in February. I will be applying all over Texas. I am currently scoring well enough for most schools here, and definitely not good enough for UT (my dream school). I am seeing the progress that many talk about. It is slow, but it is rewarding.

Yet, I need to go to school. My mind has been thinking, dreaming about finally getting to my first day of law school for three years now. The wait, the wasted time spent working in a job knowing that I will leave to do something fulfilling is weighing on me.

Still, what can be is beginning to haunt me. I see the improvement, I read your stories, and I begin to wonder. Maybe a 170? Maybe a 175? Who the hell knows?

Maybe I should have started last year, when I was stuck with little work in Florida? Maybe I should just bite the bullet and accept nothing but UT?

In reality, I do just want to get into a good law school that will allow me to work in Texas without fuss. I will most likely get that. Still, biting the bullet is tough. My wife thinks I am going crazy with my constant jumps of this year or next. In a way, I think I am too.

I am not sure this post requires much thought. It's just the musings of a person thinking way too much about his options.

desire2learn

Take you time to process and eventually you will get over the what could have beens and be ready to move forward with whatever reality awaits. I have been struggling with my disappointing LSAT scores from Sept. and Dec. but it gets a little better each day and I'm slowly embracing reality instead of the what ifs.

Bevs ScooterMinion

@desire2learn said:
it gets a little better each day and I'm slowly embracing reality instead of the what ifs.

THIS.

Making a plan, with contingencies, is the best way to work out difficulties. Helps you to see paths and options.

We have voluntarily entered into an uphill climb --even passed law school into our practice, and there will be fuss, but it is how we face those challenges that helps us figure out the best course of action.

I think Confucius or a 7Sage mentor said that best.

jennilynn89

Hey, @vduran1988 !!! I feel your pain, my friend!!

I was in the same predicament. I had already delayed law school for a year, just to find myself in another compromising position with another disappointing LSAT score (save for a minor improvement from the first score I got). I honestly think I was quite literally going insane thinking of the "what ifs" and the mistakes I've made. Forget about that stuff. Who cares what could've been? What is NOW is the only thing that matters! The future is your canvas and you its painter!

So I decided to say "fuck it" and just roll with what I've got. I also need to be in law school. I could not delay another year (for a couple of other reasons besides my mental stability), and am going to give this my best shot. I am crazy determined to become a lawyer, and prestige is not really something I've ever been interested in.

So I say, go and study, study, study like crazy leading up to February (but don't burn out!), give it hell, and that's all you can do!
It sounds to me like you may have reached at point like I have - to either decide if you want to attend a more prestigious school/possibly get more scholarship money/be ok with delaying another year OR decide to finally go ahead and try to get into law school and get your career kick-started. This is a really personal decision and entirely up to you. Nobody can tell you what will be best for you.

Best of luck to you!!

Cant Get Right

I think we all struggle with the decision of to delay or not. For me, it was less about my law school opportunities and more about the test itself. I felt like I hadn't proven myself yet, so even though I had some great options, I had unfinished business.

SherryS1

@vduran1988 Thanks so much for your post! I feel very similarly and am glad to know I'm not alone. My game plan is to take Feb, apply and see how it goes. I figure if I want to, I can always still delay a year and retake in either June or Sept. Wishing us both luck!!

lawschoolstuff16

I've been going through this for a few weeks now. Definitely feel like my mental health is going down the drain the longer it takes for me to get through this exam. You should definitely try to take some time, change your environment, and think it over. I find a long hot shower and a night out without thinking about anything that "I have to do" helps me. But I also think that what this does is help me to figure out what I really value and to me, that's going to a top law school. So, taking the extra time I need to get the score I'm hoping for is what is helping me push through the remaining few weeks to get there.

Think about what you want. If it's to be a lawyer and have a rewarding career, then you should consider that some schools you go to in Texas, albeit will help you leave the LSAT behind, will leave you with virtually very limited career options. Pushing through these next 4.5 months to the June LSAT will help you have the career you want. Assuming that's the most important thing for you (which, i'm guessing it is. considering having a fulfilling job is important to you). I think what will certainly help you feel better is doing more research about what *could* happen, and give you more things to thing about when you're not feeling too well about your LSAT situation.

Hope this helps.

cam

I feel your pain even though we are on a bit different of a timeline. I finished out the year by running head first into burnout. I took 9ish days off from doing much in the way of LSAT studying then took a PT today (scored about what I was before taking the time off). I'm going to be hitting it hard up till the night or two before the February test. The difference in our timelines is that I'll be applying for Fall 2019. Due to work commitments, my main option for taking the exam is February with a slim shot of October. June, September, and December would be nearly impossible for me to get the time off.

As far as the difference in scores go, I think I get it. For my target schools, I'm at/just above what I would need to be at or above the 75th (to have a decent-good shot of getting in). For my reach school, I'm around 12 points shy of what I would need to stand a chance.

The bonus tidbit for me is that I'm most inclined to pursue the all hated JD-MBA to maximize my VA benefits (GI Bill and YRP) as well as my interests...which is something I would not have a shot of getting into at my reach school. So, where I'm at is that if I write +/- 2 points of the average of my last 10 PT's, it will more than likely be good enough to get me into all except my reach school (the lone school where I wouldn't pursue the dual degree program).